Gratitude Practice: Three Good Things Daily

Author Nancy Davis Kho transformed her life by writing weekly thank-you letters nearly a decade ago. Approaching her 50th birthday, she decided to acknowledge people who had contributed to her well-being. Writing for the Stanford Longevity Center, she noted that this practice increased her resilience and positivity.

Kho learned that gratitude physically reprograms the brain to focus on good memories. When feeling anxious, she asks herself: "What are three good things in my life that I can cite right now?" This simple question stops negative emotions and improves sleep. She advocates for handwritten letters as a dual-benefit practice but suggests gratitude journals as an alternative. The core lesson is to cultivate a life with many reasons to be thankful.

Approximately ten years ago, Nancy Davis Kho approached a major milestone: her 50th birthday. To mark the occasion, she initiated a project that seemed modest at the time. She decided to write one thank-you letter every single week. The recipients were individuals who had helped make her life better in some way.

She explained her motivation in an article for the Centro de Longevidade da Universidade Stanford. "It didn't seem like a particularly grand or transformative undertaking, but I simply wanted to recognize, by putting ink to paper, the people I probably hadn't thanked enough at the moment," she wrote. Her goal was simply to acknowledge these people.

However, the results exceeded her expectations. After maintaining the practice for a full year, Kho observed a distinct change in her mental state. She had become more resilient and significantly more positive. This positive transformation served as the foundation for her book, The Thank-You Project.

Kho did not rely solely on anecdotal evidence; she immersed herself in the science of gratitude. Her research revealed that it is possible to reprogram the human brain to focus on the good rather than the bad. This is not a passive process but an active, permanent exercise.

The exercise involves strengthening the capacity to evoke pleasant memories over unpleasant ones. When Kho feels herself slipping into a state of rumination or an anxiety spiral, she utilizes a specific internal mechanism. She asks herself a distinct question: "What are three things good in my life that I can cite now?"

According to Kho, visualizing specific images—such as her children, a dog making a mess, or a good book—is sufficient to halt negative emotions. This practice serves as a gateway to quantifiable physical and psychological benefits.

Benefits of this practice include:

• Better sleep quality
• Strengthened social bonds
• Increased self-control

She notes that gratitude helps calm the negative rumination that often keeps people awake at night.

Kho strongly advocates for the formula that accidentally changed her life: handwritten letters. She describes this method as a "double benefit," as it confers blessings on both the author and the lucky recipient. However, she acknowledges that letter writing may not be for everyone.

For those who prefer not to write letters, she recommends an alternative: keeping a gratitude journal. This involves simply noting a few lines about what one is thankful for. Regardless of the medium, the core action remains the same.

She offers specific guidance for those choosing to write letters to ensure the message is received well:

1. Start with a brief explanation of why you are writing to avoid alarming the recipient.
2. Share an old memory.
3. Explain specifically why the person helped or inspired you.

Ultimately, whether through letters or journaling, the objective is to regularly ask oneself: "What are three good things in my life that I can cite?" The goal is to live a life rich with reasons to be thankful.