Executive's Career Gap After Grief Highlights Job Market Challenges

Alex Delaney, 41, faced a life-altering tragedy in 2018 when her husband died suddenly from a pulmonary embolism at age 39. At the time, Delaney was working as a PR manager in London. Despite supportive employers, she struggled to focus on work, feeling a sense of nihilism about her career. She attempted a phased return and later took an executive director role at a women's issues charity in 2019, but ultimately resigned in 2020 due to burnout.

Following her move to the United States, visa restrictions and a new family delayed her job search. Now, with a green card and a family of four, Delaney is attempting to re-enter the workforce but faces significant hurdles. She notes that her UK experience is often not viewed as transferable and struggles with the cultural difference in self-promotion. To stay active professionally, she founded Lemons.Life, an online will-writing service inspired by the difficulties she faced after her first husband died without a will. Delaney continues to search for full-time employment while managing her side business and family.

The events that changed everything occurred in 2018. Delaney was in her apartment in London when her husband collapsed. She rushed him to the hospital, but he was pronounced dead within 45 minutes. The cause of death was a pulmonary embolism resulting from deep vein thrombosis. At the time, the couple had been trying to have a child and were undergoing IVF treatments without success.

Delaney described the aftermath as a period of intense shock for both her body and mind. She took a solid month off work immediately following the incident. Her employer supported a phased return over six months, but she found it impossible to focus. She felt completely disconnected from her career and viewed the work as meaningless. This feeling led to her decision to step back from the workforce entirely.

She explained the difficulty of finding motivation in professional tasks during grief: "I think some people find work a helpful way to keep busy and take their mind off things. But I just felt very nihilistic, as if none of it mattered, least of all getting a report published in the media."

Despite stepping back, Delaney attempted to re-engage with her career in 2019. She secured a two-day-a-week position at a women's issues charity, intending to keep her hand in the sector. However, she quickly moved into an executive director role. This increase in responsibility led to immediate burnout. She felt exhausted and did not want to deal with other people's problems, preferring to focus entirely on her own recovery.

She resigned from this role in 2020 and has not been formally employed since then. During this period, she decided to start dating again, driven by a desire to have children and the realization that she was a 35-year-old woman with specific life goals. She was fortunate to meet and marry a new partner.

Reflecting on her career trajectory, Delaney noted: "I wanted to be completely selfish, to focus on myself and feel better."

Her new husband was offered a job in Chicago, prompting a move to the United States. When they arrived, Delaney's visa status prevented her from working. She used this time to bond with her son, who was six months old at the time. As she adjusted to life in a new country, she began to feel isolated within her community. To combat this and improve her future employability, she pursued a part-time MBA over the course of two years.

During her studies, she received her green card, which granted her the legal right to work in the US. The family also grew, welcoming a daughter who is currently four months old. Now that she is legally permitted to work and has completed her MBA, Delaney is eager to return to the professional world.

She stated: "After a period of grief, you get to a point where you feel you've thought enough about yourself and how sad you are. You're ready to re-engage with the world and discover new things that interest you again."

Returning to the workforce has proven more difficult than Delaney anticipated. She has applied for approximately 10 jobs so far but has found the market tougher than expected. She is struggling to secure a new role, citing that employers often do not see the transferable nature of her professional experience gained in the UK. She specialized in the charity sector and believed her skills would be highly relevant.

There is also a distinct cultural difference she must navigate. In the UK nonprofit sector, there is a sense of humility where one avoids overclaiming achievements. In the US, the expectation is to claim as much as possible. Delaney is learning how to adapt her communication style to meet these new standards. Additionally, she acknowledges the reality of "sliding post-maternity confidence."

While searching for full-time work, Delaney has launched a business called Lemons.Life. This is an affordable online will-writing service. The inspiration came from the difficulties she faced when her first husband died without a will, which caused issues regarding the division of his assets. She sells a number of online wills weekly and is proud of the venture, though she views it as a side project rather than a full-time career.

Alex Delaney's story highlights the intersection of personal tragedy, career trajectory, and the complexities of international relocation. Despite the resilience she has shown in rebuilding her life and family, the professional barriers remain high. Her experience underscores the difficulties professionals face when re-entering the workforce after a significant gap, particularly when crossing cultural and national boundaries. As she continues to balance parenting, a side business, and job hunting, Delaney remains determined to re-establish her professional standing.