Key Facts
- ✓ Maya Kokerov has been with her boyfriend for nine years without living together
- ✓ The couple met at age 19 during their first year of college
- ✓ Living apart has helped them maintain their romantic spark
- ✓ Kokerov's father died unexpectedly four years after she moved back home
- ✓ They plan to eventually live together, marry, and start a family
Quick Summary
Maya Kokerov has maintained a nine-year relationship with her boyfriend without ever sharing a permanent residence. This unconventional arrangement has allowed them to preserve the excitement of their early romance while navigating practical life circumstances.
The couple met during their first year of college at age 19 and chose to live separately with their families to save money. Years later, personal tragedy reshaped their priorities, reinforcing the value of family time. Despite societal pressure to cohabitate, they have found that living apart strengthens their bond and keeps their connection fresh.
A Non-Traditional Approach to Commitment
Maya Kokerov and her boyfriend have been together for nine years, yet they have never lived together. Unlike most couples, they have never shared a space for more than a few weeks at a time.
People often react with shock when they learn about their living situation. The most common question Kokerov hears is, "Why hasn't he proposed yet?" Their eyes widen even more when they discover she does not go home to her partner after work.
Despite these reactions, the couple feels confident in their choice. Kokerov explains that living apart has helped them maintain the same spark at 27 that they had when they first met at 19.
The decision to live separately was initially practical. The couple met in their first year of college, both living on campus but in different accommodations. When they moved back home at age 21, three years into their relationship, they continued living apart to save money for a more permanent home.
"Living apart has helped us maintain the same spark at 27 that we had when we met at 19."
— Maya Kokerov
Benefits of Living Apart
What began as a financial strategy evolved into a relationship dynamic that strengthened their bond. After an initial adjustment period where Kokerov missed her partner and felt claustrophobic living with her parents, she began feeling happier than ever.
Living with her family as an adult deepened those relationships. Kokerov notes that her family has always been close, but cohabitation made them cherish each other even more.
The arrangement also transformed their romantic life. The couple realized that living apart helped them date with more intention. They continue to:
- Schedule regular dates prioritizing novelty and adventure
- Splurge on special nights out each month
- Meet for weekly creative activities like painting and cooking
Because their time together is limited, even ordinary moments feel sacred. Kokerov notes that driving home together feels special. Their independence maintains a steady drip of excitement into the partnership, preventing them from taking each other's presence for granted.
Family Tragedy Changes Priorities
Six years into their relationship, the couple was nearly ready to move in together when family circumstances abruptly changed. Kokerov's father unexpectedly died four years after she moved back home.
This loss gave her a new perspective on her choice to live with her parents after college. She admits feeling angry that her time with her father was cut short, but finds salvation in the years they did have together.
Kokerov recognizes that if she had moved out after college as originally planned, she never would have had those extra four years with her dad. Now, one year after his passing, she continues to live with her mother and sister.
Leaning on her family for support has been both bittersweet and invaluable. This means her plans to move in with her partner are once again on the back burner, but the priority remains clear.
Future Plans and Lasting Romance
Kokerov has finally saved enough money to buy a home, but she is unsure if it will be the place she shares with her partner. Her dream has shifted to securing a home for her mother and sister first.
Her partner has suggested moving in with them to live as a supportive unit, helping navigate their shared fear of loss. Some observers suggest they are delaying the inevitable or that they cannot know if they will last without living together.
Kokerov counters that cohabitation simply does not fit their lives yet. She emphasizes that life is full of uncertainties and short, a lesson learned through losing her father.
The couple remains grateful for nice places to live with their families while waiting for the right time to move in together. By letting go of expectations, they have stayed in the "honeymoon stage" almost a decade into their relationship.
They plan to live together, marry, and start a family one day. For now, they are building a partnership that keeps them close to each other and the people they love.
"If I had moved out after college, like I originally wanted, I never would have had these extra four years with my dad."
— Maya Kokerov
"Life is as full of uncertainties as it is short. I found this out the hard way with my father."
— Maya Kokerov
"By letting go of expectations, we're still in the 'honeymoon stage' almost a decade into our relationship."
— Maya Kokerov



