Parenting Expert: Parents Must Set Limits, Not Just Watch

Psychologist and author Alejandro Schujman is challenging parents to rethink their roles, urging them to move from passive spectators to active guides in their children's lives. He argues that the foundation of a trustworthy adult relationship lies in the ability to empathize while maintaining the authority to set boundaries. Schujman, a specialist in adolescent behavior and relationships, explores these themes through his clinical work, books, and a popular theatrical production.

His message addresses a growing concern regarding the normalization of high-risk behaviors among young people and the increasing difficulty adults face in establishing limits without feeling guilty. By promoting a balance between closeness and distance, Schujman provides a framework for parents to build healthier, more resilient relationships with their teenagers.

According to Alejandro Schujman, transforming a parent into a reliable figure for a child requires mastering three specific skills. He identifies these as the capacity to empathize, the ability to accompany the child from a place of balance, and the necessity of setting limits. Schujman describes this balance as one between closeness and distance, ensuring that boundaries are established in a manner that is both loving and firm.

Schujman (Buenos Aires, 1965) is a writer and lecturer specializing in relationships and adolescence. Beyond his clinical practice, he has created a streaming program focused on mental health. His expertise suggests that effective parenting is not about control, but about creating a secure environment where children feel understood yet know where the boundaries lie.

The psychologist highlights a specific trend in modern parenting: the tendency to normalize high-risk behaviors in youth. He also points to a widespread fear of growing up among adolescents. Schujman argues that when parents fail to intervene or set boundaries, they contribute to an environment where these risky behaviors become acceptable standards rather than exceptions.

His insights are dramatized in the successful theatrical work Primero yo, después te quiero. The play serves as a vehicle to promote the concept of self-love as the essential base for constructing healthy relationships. Through this medium, Schujman illustrates how a lack of personal boundaries and self-respect can negatively impact interpersonal dynamics.

A significant barrier to effective limit-setting is the adult's internal struggle with guilt. Schujman notes that many parents find it difficult to enforce rules because they fear damaging the relationship or being perceived as strict. However, he posits that true reliability comes from the courage to say 'no' when necessary, provided it is done with empathy.

The dynamic of accompanying a child implies a journey taken together, where the parent provides direction. Without the firmness of limits, the child is left without a compass. Schujman's work encourages parents to view limit-setting not as a punitive measure, but as an act of love and protection that fosters security and maturity.

Alejandro Schujman presents a clear directive for modern parents: engagement is non-negotiable. By rejecting the role of the passive spectator, parents can cultivate relationships built on mutual respect and understanding. The balance of empathy and firm boundaries remains the cornerstone of raising resilient, healthy individuals capable of navigating the complexities of the modern world.