Mom Starts Swedish Death Cleaning While Healthy

At 65 years old, Melinda Nicholson is in good health but has begun the process of Swedish death cleaning. This practice involves systematically decluttering and organizing one's belongings before death to prevent burdening surviving family members.

Her daughter is actively participating in this process, which has transformed what could be a grim task into a meaningful bonding experience. Through sorting items and sharing stories, they are preserving family history while Melinda is still able to participate in the decisions about her possessions.

The approach differs from traditional estate planning by focusing on gradual, intentional downsizing while the owner is still present to share the stories behind cherished items.

Swedish death cleaning is the practice of decluttering one's belongings before death. Though still in good health, Melinda Nicholson is gradually rehoming family heirlooms and donating unwanted items.

Being part of her process allows her daughter to become a caretaker of their family history while making new memories together. Losing a parent is difficult enough, but on top of planning a funeral and taking care of final expenses, surviving family members have to handle the belongings left behind, a Herculean task that leaves little space to grieve.

Melinda Nicholson is doing things differently. For the past few years, she has been practicing Swedish death cleaning to help her daughter navigate her eventual passing, from organizing important documents to passing down heirlooms. It sounds grim, but it's bringing them both a surprising amount of peace and comfort.

Being a police officer for 21 years took a toll on Melinda's health, forcing her into early retirement. While she does not have any life-threatening diagnoses, her experiences showed her the fragility of life and that time waits for no one.

Her motivation stems from her own childhood experience. "I was 15 when my daddy died," Melinda recalls. "I remember there was so much he left behind, and after he was gone, it felt like vultures swooping in to take whatever they wanted. I didn't get to keep much that belonged to him."

One item she wishes she had inherited from her dad was a pearl-handled revolver, but it disappeared following his death. She recently found several of his belongings among her mother's possessions, including a watch, a Shriners' ring, and his military photos.

In 2001, it was her turn to become the custodian of a life that had been left behind. Having gone through the process herself, she knew what a burden it could be and didn't want to leave that burden for her daughters.

Melinda has been going through boxes and closets gradually and has developed a systematic approach to her decluttering process.

Her system prioritizes family distribution first:

• She offers items to her daughters first
• She has given her anniversary ring from her father, a ring from her parents, dishes, and family photos to her daughter
• Her sister has received jewelry, dishes, and a water pitcher
• She has given photos and trinkets to her cousins and grandchildren

For items not kept within the family, she donates unwanted items to charity organizations. Other items, such as an old time-keeping book from a now-defunct mill where her mother used to work, were donated to the county history museum.

The process has provided unexpected benefits beyond just organization. Swedish death cleaning led both Melinda and her daughter down their family history's rabbit holes as they sorted items together.

Photos from multiple generations triggered memories and stories. Her daughter received a family history lesson and felt closer to those who came before her, even people she never met.

It has also given them opportunities to spend more time together, talking about things that rarely come up in everyday conversations. It's comforting to know that she'll have special reminders of her mother for the rest of her life, things that won't get tossed to the wayside in the aftermath of her passing.

To anyone considering Swedish death cleaning, Melinda offers straightforward advice: "Don't wait, even if you think you're in good health. Start with a single box, then a closet, then a whole room, just don't wait."