How Earning $1 Million Changed My Relationships

Reaching a net worth of $1 million is a dream for many, but for one entrepreneur, it brought unexpected personal challenges. Kimanzi Constable, a first-generation American, built a successful online business that surpassed the million-dollar mark in 2023. While this financial freedom was a goal he set for himself, it triggered a wave of requests for money from his inner circle.

The pressure to share his wealth created a rift between him and his loved ones. Constable found that his financial success became the focal point of many relationships. To preserve his mental health and secure his financial future, he made the difficult decision to cut ties with friends and family members who could not respect his boundaries. Through therapy, he learned that his value extends beyond his bank account and that it is acceptable to prioritize his own well-being.

Constable grew up in an immigrant household where finances were rarely discussed. Although he witnessed his mother and stepfather working hard, often holding multiple jobs, he remained unaware of the specifics regarding their debt, savings, or salaries. His upbringing was further altered at age 14 when his parents found religion, changing the trajectory of their lives.

At 17, Constable was kicked out of his home after telling his parents he did not want to attend seminary or become a pastor. By 18, he had earned his commercial driver's license and started his first business. This early venture, which he launched at 19 while working as a delivery driver for a bakery, generated significant income quickly. It was at this stage that people first began asking him for money.

After selling his initial delivery company, Constable transitioned to an online business in 2011, which continued to grow. In 2023, he achieved his goal of collecting his first million in cash. As his lifestyle improved—upgrading his living situation, buying a new car, and paying for meals—friends and family took notice. The initial, slow requests for financial help quickly escalated.

Constable described the requests as coming from everywhere. Close friends asked for loans, and expected him to cover expenses during men's nights out. Family members, including those still living in Kenya, became increasingly demanding. Even when he did provide financial assistance, it was never viewed as sufficient, and he was frequently accused of being greedy.

He stated, "I spent a long time feeling like my only value was to earn money to give to others." This dynamic left him feeling that his relationships were transactional rather than genuine.

The turning point came after years of feeling obligated to help. Constable sought therapy, which helped him realize that his low self-worth and feelings of abandonment were the reasons he allowed people to take advantage of him. Therapy provided the clarity that he was more than just a financial resource for others.

Consequently, he made the painful decision to cut off two of his best friends and several family members. While letting go of these relationships hurt deeply, he understood it was necessary for his mental health. He now consistently turns down requests for money and has established firm boundaries, only giving when he feels comfortable doing so. He reminds himself of the lesson he learned long ago: he is responsible for his own financial future and must be wise with his money.

Over the past 24 years, Constable's journey from a delivery driver to a millionaire has taught him a valuable lesson about human nature. The experience of building a successful business and making a million dollars allowed him to differentiate between genuine and superficial relationships. He concludes that this insight is "priceless," outweighing even the financial wealth he has accumulated.